The Other White Meat....

NEW DELHI (AP) -- New Delhi's stray dogs lead a difficult life. But if it was up to one city councilor, they would find themselves in more hot water - soup to be precise.

Shipping the thousands of strays to Korea, where dog meat is widely consumed in soup, was one of the more outlandish ideas proposed at a city council meeting to deal with the problem, the Hindustan Times newspaper reported Thursday.

None of the ideas - from the aforementioned Korean plan to drugging the canines so they sleep through the day - are likely to be implemented anytime soon. Instead, the council chairman asked the presumably more responsible veterinary department to come up with a workable plan.

Tens of thousands of strays live in New Delhi. Many are often cared for by people in the areas they live, but some become aggressive, and bites and rabies are a problem. Efforts to sterilize them have been largely unsuccessful.

City councilor Mohan Prashad Bharadwaj said he had read that Koreans are fond of dog meat and "maybe we can send all the stray dogs of Delhi there," the paper quoted him as saying.

A soup with dog meat called boshintang is popular in Korea, especially on the three hot "dog days" of summer on the lunar calendar. The traditional belief is that dog meat helps boost stamina and virility, but activists regularly criticize the practice and call for bans on eating dog meat.

City officials could not immediately be reached for comment.

Drum roll please....

Q: What do you call a group of white hooded figures
that toast bagels on people's front lawns?
A: The Ku Klux Kleins.

Q: What do you call Africans who read Lord of the Rings?
A: Tolkien blacks.

Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your
front doorstep?
A: Matt.

Q: What do you call a man in a pile of leaves?
A: Russell.

A man walks into a book shop and asks the clerk if he buy a book by Shakespear.

"Which one?", the clerk asks.

"Errr, William", replies the customer.

Termination of Our Special Status

TO: Lord, Our God, King of the Universe
FROM: The Jews
SUBJ: Termination of Our Special Status as The Chosen People

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Originally uploaded by jeeroome.

As you are aware, the contract made between you and Abraham is up for renewal, and this memorandum is to advise you that after, yea, those many millennia of consideration, we've decided not to renew.

We should point out immediately that there is nothing in writing and, contrary to popular beliefs, we have not really benefited too much from this arrangement.

If you go back to the early years of our arrangement, it definitely started off on the wrong footing. Not only was Israel and Judea invaded almost every year, but we went to enormous expense to erect, not one but two, Temples and they were both destroyed. All we have is a pile of old stones called the Western Wall. Of course, you know all this, but we feel it's a good thing to account for all the reasons we wish to terminate the contract.

After the Hittites, Assyrians, etc., not only were we beaten up almost daily, but then we were sold off as slaves to Egypt (of all countries), and really lost a few hundred years of development.

Now we realize that you went to a great deal of trouble to send Moses to lead us out of Egypt; and those poor Egyptian buggers were smitten with all those plagues. But, reflecting on those years, we are at a loss to understand why it took almost 40 years to make a trip that El Al now does in 45 minutes.

Also, while not appearing to be ungrateful, Moses did lead us to the left instead of to the right at Sinai! To the only place in the middle east without any oil. And with water that is controlled by Jordan and Syria. Oy, if only he had stopped to ask directions. OK, so the mineral rights were not a part of the deal, but then the Romans came and we were really up to our necks in dreck. While it's true the Romans did give us water fit to drink, aqueducts, and baths, it was very disconcerting to walk down one of the vias, look up, and see one of your friends or family nailed to a three-by-four looking for all the world like a sign post.

Even one of our princes, Judah ben Hur, got caught up with Roman stuff and drove like a crazy man around the Coliseum. It's a funny thing, but many people swore that Ben Hur had an uncanny resemblance to Moses -- go figure.

Then, of all things, one of our most up-and-coming carpenters (he did great work, real cheap) declared himself your son (there was nothing said like this about Abe) and before we knew what was what, a whole new religion sprang up. To add insult to injury, we were dispersed all over the world two or three times while this new goy (oops, guy) really caught on. We were truly sorry to hear that the Romans executed him like so many others, but -- and this will make you laugh -- once again we were blamed. Couldn't someone else be chosen, maybe just once?

Now here's something we really don't understand. That guy, Jesus Christ, really came into his own. Millions of people revered and worshipped his name and scriptures -- and still killed us by the millions. They claimed we drank the blood of newborn infants, controlled the world banks, operated the world's media, etc. Are we beginning to make our point here?

So let's fast forward a few hundred years to the Crusades. Hoo Boy! Again, we were caught in the middle. They, the Lords and Knights, came from all over Europe to smack the Arabs and open up the holy places, but before we knew what hit us, they were killing us along with everyone else. Every time a King or a Pope was down in the opinion polls, they called for a Crusade or Holy War (today they're called a Jihad), and went on a killing rampage in our land.

So, you tested us a little here and there, but some bright cleric in Spain came up with the Inquisition. We all thought it was a new game show, but once again we and quite a few others were used as firewood for a whole new street lighting arrangement in major Spanish cities. All right, that ended after about a hundred years or so -- in the great scheme of things not a long time.

Photo by Aaron Olivo" style="border: 2px solid rgb(0, 0, 0);">
Emmunah (faith)
Originally uploaded by Manhattan Observer.

But every time we settled down in one country or another, they kicked us out. We wandered around a few hundred years or so, but it never changed. Finally we settled in a few countries, but they insisted we all live in ghettos, while the Russians came up with Pogroms. We all thought they made a spelling mistake and misspelled "programs," but we were dead wrong (very dead wrong). Apparently, when there was nothing else to occupy their time, killing Jews was the in thing to do.

Now comes the really tough noogies. We were doing quite well, thank you, in a small European country called Germany, when some house-painter wrote a book, said a few things that caught on and became their leader. Oh boy! What a bad day that was for us -- your Chosen People (by now, you must be getting the drift of this e-mail?). We really didn't know where you were in the earth years 1933 to 1945. We know everyone needs a break now and then; even the Lord God Almighty needs some time off. But, when we needed you most, you were never around. You are probably aware of this, but if you have forgotten, over six million of your Chosen People, along with millions un-chosen others were murdered in cold blood. They even made lampshades out of our skins! Look, we don't want to dwell on the past, but it gets worse.

Here we are, it's 1948, and millions of us are displaced again, when you really pull a fast one. We finally get our own land back! Yes, after all these years, you arrange for us to go back. Then all the Arab countries immediately declare war on us. We have to tell you that sometimes your sense of humour eludes us.

So, we win all the wars, and we're now in a new century, but nothing's changed. We keep getting blown up, hijacked and kidnapped. We have no peace whatsoever. Enough is enough. We hope you understand that nothing's forever (except you, of course), and we respectfully would like to pull out of our verbal agreement vis a vis being your Chosen People. Look, sometimes things work out, sometimes they don't. Let's be friends over the next few eons and see what happens.

Meanwhile, how about this idea? We're sure you recall that Abraham had a whole other family from Ishmael (the ones who got the oil). How about making them your chosen people for a few thousand years?

Respectfully yours,

The Jews

Isolated Incidents......"snort"

Today's Bumper Sticker

WASHINGTON - Airport security officers around the nation have been alerted by federal officials to look out for terrorists practicing to carry explosive components onto aircraft, based on four curious seizures at airports since last September.

The unclassified alert was distributed on July 20 by the Transportation Security Administration to federal air marshals, its own transportation security officers and other law enforcement agencies.

The seizures at airports in San Diego, Milwaukee, Houston and Baltimore included "wires, switches, pipes or tubes, cell phone components and dense clay-like substances," including block cheese, the bulletin said. "The unusual nature and increase in number of these improvised items raise concern."

Security officers were urged to keep an eye out for "ordinary items that look like improvised explosive device components."

The four seizures were described this way:

• San Diego, July 7. A U.S. person — either a citizen or a foreigner legally here — checked baggage containing two ice packs covered in duct tape. The ice packs had clay inside them rather than the normal blue gel.

• Milwaukee, June 4. A U.S. person's carryon baggage contained wire coil wrapped around a possible initiator, an electrical switch, batteries, three tubes and two blocks of cheese. The bulletin said block cheese has a consistency similar to some explosives.

• Houston, Nov. 8, 2006. A U.S. person's checked baggage contained a plastic bag with a 9-volt battery, wires, a block of brown clay-like minerals and pipes.

• Baltimore, Sept. 16, 2006. A couple's checked baggage contained a plastic bag with a block of processed cheese taped to another plastic bag holding a cellular phone charger.

Remembering Sekou Sundiata, Poet of Sound

Poet Sekou Sundiata died this week at age 58; the cause was heart failure. Sundiata, who taught literature at New York City's New School University for many years, was considered one of the fathers of the spoken-word movement. He wrote the plays Blessing the Boats, The Circle Unbroken is a Hard Bop, The Mystery of Love, Udu, and the 51st (dream) state. His albums include Longstoryshort and The Blue Oneness of Dreams. We remember him with excerpts from interviews that originally aired in May 1994, April 1997, and November 2002.

I was fortunate in catching the whole of this show. I was much impressed by a few his works that were sampled and by his life and attitude toward life and his fellow man. This show is still up on NPR if you want to listen. I recommend you listen.

Bull horns in on two assholes...

Bet they won't come back next year.

More strange from Wall of Weirdness trial...

LOS ANGELES (AP) — Just when we thought we'd seen it all in celebrity trials, Phil Spector's bombastic lead attorney has decided the record producer's murder case can continue just fine without jurors seeing one key element — himself.

Bruce Cutler, the New York lawyer who opened the proceedings in April as the star performer, has taken a time out from the 10-week-old trial to film a new courtroom TV show, Jury Duty.

Cutler vowed Monday to deliver the closing argument in the Spector trial even though he will not have been in court for much of the defense case. He said he has been watching the trial on TV and reading transcripts of testimony.

"I'm not doing it to deprecate the significance of the case," Cutler said. "I don't need to be there every day."

Well, sure its LA and all, but if it was me on trial , I’d want that sucker there 24/7.

Heres a tidbit back when Phil was a fully functioning human being.